AUTHENTICITY and INTEGRITY: SELF-AWARENESS, INNER-AUTHORITY AND A COMPASS FOR A LIFE WELL LIVED.
For the past several years, there has been a welcome trend to promote “authenticity” as an infinitely valuable pursuit for self-development and growth. Indeed taking the time to find out what one truly is about at any stage of life and increase self-awareness is indispensable as well as a life long work.
We must heed the calls of discrepancies and discomfort that creep upon us as we change.
Sometimes we are given t5he opportunity to assess where we are at after a main event in our lives has changed our life and/or our inner landscape: we realise that we have become somewhat warped or shapeless. We are out of synch with ourselves.
As we take stock, we realise that brought us success, achievement and joy doesn’t seem to “hit the spot”and the ways we used to bring them in our lives doesn’t work anymore.
We find that things, routines, values or ways of being and/or doing have become obsolete and we may feel lifeless.
Being authentic to oneself and to one’s true and often hidden values is essential. Likewise having a real sense of our gifts, as well as our blind spots and limitations is crucial in order to be a whole individual.
Make it stand out
Art by Andy Goldsworthy
Yet we do not live in a vacuum, and cultivating a sense of integrity as well as being authentic is fundamental to a life well lived.
AUTHENTICITY: SELF
“the quality of being real or true, original, authoritative from the Greek authentikós and authentía/-eía.
THE GIFTS AND DEMANDS OF LIVING AUTHENTICALLY
* Authenticity is the foundation stone of well-being. It is linked with self-esteem, purpose, vitality, and the ability to set and accomplish goals.
* Being authentic requires the ability to be introspective and understanding one’s motivations and emotions. It can be uncomfortable at times, as it can reveal aspects of our personality that we find unattractive and/or disturbing.
* Being authentic gives us the strength to follow our internal compass rather than look for external validation, it supports the manifestation of our unique path.
* Being authentic means understanding that failures and change are an inherent part of life and learning from them, admitting to our own faults.
* Being authentic requires being less judgemental with ourselves, with others and with situations.
* Being authentic requires courage and discernment.
Authenticity has a shadow side and we must be aware of it’s possible expressions.
* Being authentic is not an excuse for acting out our anger for example, instead of acknowledging our feelings of powerlessness, shame or fear.
* Communicating our anger as well as our feelings of powerlessness, shame or fear is an empowered way of being authentic.
* Being authentic requires that we integrate the disowned vulnerable parts of ourselves as well as our hidden gifts.
Make it stand out
Art by Andy Goldsworthy
INTEGRITY: SELF IN THE WORLD AND WITH OTHERS
“The firm adherence to a code of especially moral or artistic values” Merriam Webster
Whilst integrity means being committed to a strong moral and ethical code which promotes personal and collective well-being, it can very easily become a terrain for the shadow side of ourself to create havoc through judgement, dualism, polarisation and self-righteousness.
Yes integrity is linked to a lot of positive as described below, if it is taken at its basic level, in alignment with one’s authentic self and in accordance to a moral and ethical compass that is quite simple:
Integrity is a commitment to accepting responsibility for what one say and do regardless of visibility or recognition or personal benefit.
A tall order and a worthwhile aim to point our arrows towards.
THE GIFTS OF LIVING WITH INTEGRITY
* Living with Integrity is linked to self-esteem, life satisfaction, mental health, emotional stability, and workplace success.
* Prioritising intrinsic values: personal growth, close relationships, and community involvement, over extrinsic values is linked to greater psychological resilience and satisfaction in the face of life's challenges.
* Living with Integrity is also linked with the experience of a sense of autonomy—the freedom to make choices in line with one's values.
* Individuals who exhibit strong moral and ethical principles are more likely to form stable, fulfilling relationships. They may also exhibit a higher level of empathy which in turn enables more effective communication and conflict-resolution.
* Living with integrity fosters trust and collaboration.
The Collins dictionary gives list of synonyms that I find illuminating when we think of integrity: unity, unification, cohesion, coherence.
I believe aiming for integrity requires authenticity in order to understand where we stand personally within a given society, and how we can uphold moral and ethical codes with coherence with regards to our individual path.
The constant back and forth between self-awareness coupled with a resolve to be authentic to oneself on the one the hand, and integrity as a compassionate and courageous intercourse with the world, on the other, seems to be a way to a life well lived because it deepens empathy, encourages curiosity, promotes creativity, sharpens the sense of discernment, which frees agency.
“Those who have compared our life to a dream were right... we were sleeping wake, and waking sleep.” Michel de Montaigne
HOW DO WE WAKE UP FROM THE DREAM?
From a position of self-awareness, integration and inner-authority, we become authentic and can adjust our inner-compass to aim for integrity.
NAVIGATIONAL TOOLS:
Coaching, therapy, counselling are wonderful tools to support our endeavours to a Life well lived. So are the practices of Mindfulness and meditation.
Practising mindfulness and learning about Positive Intelligence provide powerful tools to become more authentic, observant, curious, discerning and accepting of self and others. It promotes inner-authority as well as agency.
• When we experience the transient nature of our thoughts and the inherent constantly changing nature of life we are more capable of change.
• When we realise how little control we have over the constant stream of phenomena that our minds register at any given moment, we are more likely to experience how little control we have in our lives and paradoxically we become more aware of our negative self-abuse. We experience as observers of our own inner-critics. We experience that the life of any thought be it brutal, or the life of any emotion be it intense is very short if we do not identify with them.
• We become proficient at discernment, at grappling with paradoxes, at accepting uncertainty. We develop compassion and become more curious, creative and before we know it, we are surfing, we are one with the constant changes.
Yes we fall, but now we know to be heavy and let our bodies go to the depth were the turmoil of the flux can’t endanger us. In that depth we re-group and listen to both our bodies and the next wave which will brings us back to the surface. We climb back on our boards, ready to catch the next wave.
Instead of constantly pushing ourselves and using our inner-critics as brutal slave masters, -which does provide success, but at heavy cost- we become adept at heading the pull of life and flowing which brings better results and offers a richer life.
